I just wanted to make sure I'm not presenting an overly rosy view of adoption, and thought I'd comment a little on how I'm feeling about things.
In many ways I feel more like an auntie or nanny than a mommy. There's so much to teach her. The list is endless. I figured out today that she can write her name, but she can't read. Not a lick. It helps me know where to start with homeschooling. Don't know about math, yet. But schoolwork aside, there's just so much to teach about practical everyday things. From using a toilet that flushes to taking a bath. She insists on standing up in the bathtub and splashing herself with the water. BRRR!
Anyway, if you've seen Anne of Green Gables, you'll understand when I say I feel more like Marilla. There's a girl in my house that I don't know, but desperately WANT to know. I'm trying to give her some space to trust us and learn how to be a daughter. Being a sister is coming easy for her.....she's already helping Eva get dressed and holds her hand when we are in a parking lot. Our other children are unknowingly modeling family behavior for her, and I suspect much of what she learns will come from observing them. In the most insecure place in my heart, I want to know that she's glad she came home with us. She's still self-protecting, which is understandable. I can't even imagine the bravery it took to board an airplane with us. It's this same kind of spitfire and courage that has probably kept her alive these many years.
So, I'll just end by saying that adoption is a big commitment. It's a terrifying leap of faith. It's a journey of trusting God to lead me and give me wisdom. It's more about the child, than about me. It's not about trying to do something noble. It's all about what God wants to do through this experience to show Himself off. He wants to Be Big in our lives! He wants to Be Big in MY life.