Thursday, September 25, 2008

Recovery

Yesterday was another hard day with Nia. After these days I feel like I've been hit by a Semi. It takes everything out of me to listen to how God wants me to handle her. I am required to exercise extreme self-control over my own anger and rage. If you've ever had anyone in your life who just pushes your buttons, who sometimes bullies others, and who is just plain mean occasionally, then you'll know what I'm talking about.

The whole thing started over a bottle of nail polish. A BOTTLE OF NAIL POLISH!!

After 5 hours of dealing with her drama, she finally came to me ready to talk about the morning. She asked forgiveness and admitted her wrong-doings. Her face had softened and her demeanor was approachable. We talked about how yucky it feels to hold on to our anger and how the enemy uses it to steal our joy and energy. And how good it feels to repent and be forgiven, and have our relationships restored with our family.

I felt like I was watching Dr. Jekyl and Mr. Hyde. She joined in with her siblings and played like a little girl again. It's like I lose her during these bouts of Dr. Jekyl, and then I get her back after a while.

If it were not for her quick recovery today (yes, 5 hours is quick for her. It used to be days), I would be losing hope with her. In November she will have been home a year. I cannot forget the progress we've all made in dealing with her woundedness.

3 comments:

Missy said...

I just cannot believe it's been a year. It sounds like she has really come a long way. and so have you :o)
Love,
Missy

Erin said...

Even though my special needs Liberian daughter doesn't behave exactly like Nia I can relate to the feelings of anger & the emotional & mental exhaustion.

All 8 of Us said...

Angel,
I can sooo relate... and my good friends are so quick to remind me of the many evidences of God's grace at work in the hearts of our Liberian children who will be home 2 years in December. But we have had a run of 'those days' in recent weeks so i can certainly empathize and sympathize with you!!
Blessings,
Kathi